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What is Self-Esteem? And Why is It important?


As a therapist and coach, I see how self-esteem plays a crucial role in shaping our mental health and personal growth. It affects how my clients view themselves, interact with others, and navigate life's challenges. This blog will explore self-esteem, its importance, and how recognising its impact can lead to personal transformation. 


Defining Self-Esteem


Self-esteem is, in essence, is the way we perceive and value ourselves. It reflects our confidence in our abilities and how we view our worth. People with healthy self-esteem recognise their strengths, accept their flaws, and feel comfortable with who they are. On the other hand, low self-esteem can manifest as self-doubt, feelings of inadequacy, and negative self-perception. I see this daily in my work with clients who struggle with self-doubt, and it can have a detrimental impact on their lives if it goes unresolved. 


It’s important to note that self-esteem exists on a spectrum. Too little self-esteem can lead to constant self-criticism, while too much can lead to arrogance. Finding a healthy balance is key to emotional well-being.


Why Self-Esteem Matters


Self-esteem is a cornerstone of mental and emotional health. It influences how we cope with life challenges, our relationships, and what we view ourselves as capable of achieving. When self-esteem is low, it can create barriers to growth and success. 


When we experience negative thinking patterns, we can constantly doubt our abilities or worth, leading to destructive internal dialogue. The inner voice that tells you you are not good enough or worthy enough when this inner critic keeps popping up, can be an emotional drain. 


This can lead to people fearing failure and not wanting to get anything wrong, preventing them from stepping out of their comfort zone. This can impact their quality of life and happiness. 


People with low self-esteem might tolerate poor treatment or struggle with setting boundaries because they don't believe they deserve better. I often see this manifest in people who are in unhappy relationships, but they don’t end the relationship through fear of never having another relationship. 


Conversely, healthy self-esteem fosters resilience, encourages personal growth, and helps build more fulfilling relationships.


My Personal Journey with Low Self-Esteem


For me, low self-esteem started in childhood. Being overweight and bullied made me feel different and unworthy, and those feelings stayed with me as I grew older. School was particularly challenging. At the time, I didn’t know I had dyslexia, which likely contributed to my academic struggles. 


Recognising Low Self-Esteem


I didn’t realise the impact of my earlier life experiences and how they continued to impact my self-esteem into adulthood. One of the most complex parts of low self-esteem is that it’s not always obvious. You might believe the negative thoughts in your head are just facts, not reality. However, they are often distorted perceptions. Below, I highlight some common themes in my work as a therapist and coach. Do any resonate with you? If so, you may be experiencing low self-esteem. 


Constant self-criticism- Frequently telling yourself, “I’m not good enough” or “I’ll never succeed.”


Avoiding risks- Being afraid to try new things due to a fear of failure.


Difficulty accepting compliments-Feeling uncomfortable when others praise you.


Comparing yourself to others- Regularly measuring yourself against others and coming up short.


Recognising these signs is critical because they can be challenged and changed.  For me the shift came when I began to understand that my self-worth wasn’t defined by past experiences or other people’s opinions.


How to Build Healthy Self-Esteem


Improving self-esteem is a gradual process, but it’s a powerful one. Here are some strategies that have helped me along the way:


1. Practice self-compassion-Be kinder to yourself. Accept that mistakes are part of the learning process

2. Set achievable goals-Break larger tasks into smaller steps and celebrate small victories.

3. Try to surround yourself with positive influences and spend time with people who uplift and support you.

4. Challenge negative thoughts- Try replacing self-doubt with positive affirmations and more balanced perspectives.


Seeking professional help can also be beneficial, especially if low self-esteem feels deeply ingrained or affects your daily life.


Conclusion


Understanding self-esteem is crucial because it influences every aspect of your life—from your mental health to our relationships and personal growth. Recognising and addressing low self-esteem allows you to reclaim your worth and live a more fulfilling life. I’ve experienced firsthand how damaging low self-esteem can be, but I’ve also seen how working on it can lead to profound change. 


Self-esteem may not be something we think about daily, but it underpins much of how we experience this world. Learning to value ourselves and address those negative beliefcan open  the door to new possibilities and a healthier, more resilient you.


Natasha Page MSC 


If you want to work with me on your self-development, click here to book a session. 

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