The Pitfalls of Comparison: Navigating Mental Health in the Age of Social Media
“Always be a first-rate version of yourself and not a second-rate version of someone else.”
As the late, great Judy Garland once said, it’s far better to work on becoming the best version of yourself that you can possibly be, rather than trying to imitate somebody else. But in today’s image-focused, social-media-addicted world, that’s sometimes easier said than done.
Whether it's our friends, colleagues, or the seemingly perfect lives portrayed by celebs and influencers on social media, the urge to measure our own lives, worth, and appearance against others can feel irresistible, and unavoidable; it can also take a real toll on our mental health.
As a therapist, I've witnessed firsthand the negative impact that acts of comparison can have on people’s lives, leading to feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem, and even depression. In this blog, I want to shed some light on why comparison is so detrimental to our wellbeing, and share some practical steps to help you break free from this harmful cycle.
Why comparing yourself to others is bad for your mental health
As the old adage goes, comparison really is the thief of joy. When we constantly compare ourselves to other people, we:
· Undermine our own accomplishments
· Diminish our self-worth
· Lose sight of what’s great about our lives
We also risk alienating the people around us. If comparison is making you dissatisfied with your lot in life, that could make your loved ones feel like they’re not enough. That’s not to say that you shouldn’t have goals and ambitions and strive for more, but you definitely shouldn’t feel pressured to emulate somebody else’s perceived achievements because of a sense of expectation or inadequacy.
It's important to remember that everyone's journey is unique, and not everything we see on social media is accurate. Platforms like Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok are curated highlight reels of people's lives, often showcasing only the most glamorous and exciting moments, and sometimes showcasing moments that aren’t real at all.
What we fail to realise is that these snapshots are just that—carefully selected moments that don't reflect the full reality of someone's life. By fixating on what others have or what they have achieved, we lose sight of our own strengths and talents, and our mental health suffers.
How to stop comparing yourself to others
So, how can we break free from the comparison trap and cultivate a healthier mindset? Here are some strategies to help you shift your focus away from a comparison mindset, and towards gratitude and self-acceptance:
1. Limit your time on social media
Social media can be a valuable tool for staying connected with people we might not get to see all that much, but it's important to be mindful of how much time you spend scrolling through your feeds (especially doom scrolling!). Set boundaries for yourself and consider taking regular breaks from social media to focus on real-life interactions and activities that bring you joy.
2. Practice gratitude
Take time each day to reflect on the things you're grateful for in your own life. Whether it's a supportive friend, a fulfilling hobby, or a simple pleasure like curling up with a book and a brew, cultivating gratitude for the big and little things can help to shift your perspective and remind you of the wonderful things that already make up your life.
3. Focus on your own journey
Instead of comparing yourself to everybody else, focus your energy on your own goals and aspirations. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small, and remind yourself that success looks different for everyone. By staying true to your own path, you'll find far greater fulfilment and satisfaction in your achievements – because they’re what matter to YOU.
4. Challenge negative thoughts
When you catch yourself falling into the comparison trap, challenge negative thoughts with more realistic and compassionate self-talk. Remind yourself that everyone has their own struggles and insecurities, and that what you see on the surface may not tell the whole story. Not many people share the worst parts of their life, so you’re really not getting an accurate picture.
5. Seek support
It’s not always easy to stop yourself making comparisons, so if comparing your life to others’ is taking a toll on your mental health, there’s absolutely no shame in asking for support. Whether it's talking to a trusted friend, family member, or mental health professional, having someone to confide in can give you some perspective and guidance.
Fall back in love with your life
“Other people’s lives seem better than yours because you’re comparing their director’s cuts with your behind the scenes.” – Evan Rauch
Letting go of the need to compare yourself to others (even though it might be a hard task that takes some practice), and embracing gratitude in your own life, can help you to create a greater sense of peace and contentment. One of the best ways to do this is through a gratitude journal.
End each day by writing down three things that you’re grateful for in your own life, and over time, see your perspective begin to change. It's a journey, and it won't always be easy, but YOUR life is worth living, warts and all.
With love Natasha follow me on Instagram or Facebook @Natashapagemsc
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