Valentine’s Day Isn’t Just About Romantic Love It’s About the Relationship You Have With Yourself

Valentine’s Day can bring up a mix of emotions.
For some, it’s about romance and connection. For others, it can highlight loneliness, comparison, or the quiet question of “Am I enough?”

In my work as a therapist and throughout my book one truth comes up again and again:

Self-love is the foundation of self-esteem, and self-esteem is the foundation of every relationship we experience.

Whether you are single, dating, in a long-term relationship or married, the quality of your connections is often rooted in the relationship you have with yourself.

When we value ourselves, we communicate more clearly.
When we trust ourselves, we choose healthier dynamics.
When we feel worthy, we stop shrinking to keep others close.

Self-love isn’t selfish. It’s relational.

Why Self-Love Shapes Our Relationships

If you struggle with self-worth, it often shows up quietly:

• Over-giving to avoid rejection
• Accepting less than you deserve
• Fear of being too much or not enough
• Staying silent instead of expressing needs

But when self-esteem is nurtured, relationships feel different:

• Boundaries feel safer
• Communication feels calmer
• Love feels mutual, not something to earn

This Valentine’s Day, instead of asking “Who is loving me?”, it might be more powerful to ask:

“How am I loving myself?”

Three Gentle Ways to Celebrate Self-Love This Weekend

You don’t need grand gestures. Self-love is built in small, consistent moments of care.

1. Create a Date With Yourself (And Actually Keep It)

Set aside intentional time just for you no multitasking, no guilt.
A walk in nature, a coffee alone, reading a chapter of a book that nourishes you.

Treat this time with the same respect you would give someone you love.

Self-love begins when you consistently show up for yourself.

2. Speak to Yourself Like Someone You Love

Notice your inner dialogue this weekend.
If you wouldn’t say it to someone you care about, gently question why you’re saying it to
yourself.

You might try:

• Writing yourself a compassionate note
• Replacing self-criticism with curiosity
• Saying one kind sentence to yourself each morning

Your inner voice shapes your emotional world.

3. Do One Thing That Reinforces Your Worth

This isn’t about indulgence it’s about alignment.

That might look like:

• Saying no where you usually over-extend
• Resting without explaining yourself
• Choosing something that supports your wellbeing, not just your productivity

Self-love is about honouring what you need.

A Valentine’s Day Reminder

You are not more worthy because someone chooses you.
You are not more lovable because of your relationship status.

You are worthy because you exist.

And the more deeply that truth is rooted within you, the more fulfilling your relationships,
romantic or otherwise, become.

This Valentine’s Day, may love begin with you.

By Natasha Page
Psychotherapist, self-development coach and Author of Believe You’re Made For More