A Guide to Rest and Reclaiming Joy: How to Manage Stress and Prioritise Your Wellbeing This Christmas

As the holiday season approaches, many of us feel the familiar tug of obligation, and I feel as women we often feel the extra pressure this time of year. The to-do lists grow longer, the social commitments pile up, and the pressure to create a “perfect” Christmas can feel overwhelming. It’s easy to get caught in the cycle of doing for others while putting our own needs last.

But here’s the truth: when we consistently prioritise everything and everyone else, we deplete ourselves. This constant state of giving, without refueling, can take a toll on our mental health, leading to stress, anxiety, and burnout. As a psychotherapist and self-development coach, I want to invite you to approach this Christmas differently—not as a time to perform or meet expectations, but as an opportunity to nurture your own well-being. Sounds good, right? But how do we actually do this?

Why We Struggle to Rest and Put Ourselves First

Let us first explore why we struggle to rest and put ourselves first. Many women have been conditioned to equate self-worth with productivity and selflessness. The belief that “rest is lazy” or “putting myself first is selfish” runs deep. The result? We feel guilty when we slow down, and we push ourselves to exhaustion in the name of being “good enough.”

This mindset isn’t just draining—it’s unsustainable. Prioritising your wellbeing isn’t selfish; it’s essential. When you take care of yourself, you show up more fully for the people and experiences that matter most.

How to Create an Intentional, Nourishing Christmas

1. Release Perfectionism: Embrace “Good Enough”

Perfectionism is a major source of holiday stress. The truth is, no one remembers a flawless tablescape or perfectly wrapped gifts—but they do remember how they felt in your presence. Give yourself permission to let go of the idea that everything needs to be perfect. Focus on what brings you joy and connection. A simple meal shared with loved ones is far more meaningful than a stressed-out attempt at a Pinterest-worthy spread.

2. Set Boundaries: It’s Okay to Say No

You don’t have to attend every event, host every gathering, or meet every expectation. Tune into what feels right for you. If a commitment feels draining rather than joyful, it’s okay to say no. I personally have been mindful of this, this year I have changed plans to ensure that I'm meeting my own needs and finding alternative ways to catch up with friends earlier in December so its not to crazy and stressful near the actual day.

Practice compassionate boundary-setting by communicating your needs clearly and kindly.

For example:

• “I really appreciate the invite, but I need a quiet evening at home to recharge.”

• “I’d love to help, but I can’t take on anything extra this year.”

Your wellbeing matters. Protect it.

3. Prioritise Rest and Recovery

Rest is not a luxury—it’s a necessity. Make space in your holiday schedule for activities that replenish you. This might include:

• A long bath with your favorite book.

• A walk in nature, savoring the quiet.

• An evening of journaling or meditation by candlelight.

• Taking a nap or simply allowing yourself to lounge without guilt.

   

Remind yourself that rest is productive. It restores your energy and allows you to show up more fully in all areas of life.

4. Reconnect with What Brings You Joy

The holidays often pull us in a million directions, but it’s important to reconnect with what feels meaningful. What brings you genuine joy? What traditions or activities light you up? Maybe it’s baking cookies with your kids, watching a favorite holiday movie, or simply sitting by the fire with a cup of tea. Prioritize these moments. Let them be your anchor.

5. Practice Mindful Presence

Anxiety often arises from living in the future—worrying about what’s next or what might go wrong. This Christmas, practice bringing your attention back to the present moment.

Try this simple mindfulness exercise:

• Pause and take three deep breaths, focusing on the inhale and exhale.

• Notice what you can see, hear, and feel in the moment.

• Allow yourself to fully experience the here and now.

Mindful presence doesn’t erase stress, but it can help you feel grounded and calm amidst the chaos.

6. Lean on Support: You Don’t Have to Do It All Alone

Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, reach out to friends, family, or even professional support.

Delegate tasks where you can, whether it’s asking a partner to handle gift wrapping or inviting guests to contribute to the meal. Remember, community care is part of self-care.

7. Create a Self-Care Ritual for the Holidays

Carve out time each day or week for a self-care ritual that feels sacred to you. This could be:

• Lighting a candle and reflecting on what you’re grateful for.

• Writing a letter to yourself, acknowledging your efforts and growth.

• Engaging in gentle movement, like yoga or stretching, to release tension.

These small acts of care send a powerful message: I am worthy of rest and nourishment.

Final Thoughts: Give Yourself the Gift of Compassion

This Christmas, give yourself permission to focus on your wellbeing. Rest, joy, and connection are gifts that not only benefit you but also ripple out to those around you. When you prioritize your own needs, you model self-care and self-compassion for others.

Remember, you don’t have to do it all. You don’t have to be everything to everyone. You are enough, exactly as you are.

Wishing you a peaceful, intentional, and nourishing holiday season.